Nov 21, 2009
Nov 20, 2009
awesome movie poster friday - the DON'T edition!
Some of these "posters" are VHS covers, but they were just crying out to be included. I didn't want their heartbreak on my conscience, so there they are.
Looking at these, I realize I've only seen Don't Look Now and Don't Go in the Woods...Alone!; I've thought about picking up Don't Answer the Phone!, but...mehhh. No one's ever given it a ringing endorsement so I always pass it by.
See what I did there? "Ringing" endorsement? For the movie about a PHONE? Get it? Phone? Ring...ing...? Merrrrrr.
I will say that the odd Val Kilmer-Jeff Bridges love child sitting haughtily in drag has intrigued me enough so that I may seek out Don't Go in the House.
For what it's worth, I think my favorite poster here is for Don't Go in the Woods...Alone!- man, it's the mirrored aviator glasses that do it. What's even better is that she's actually in the film- along with hikers on roller skates, hikers in wheelchairs...ahh. I read my review and now I want to watch it again, even though I know it's terrible, terrible.
Looking at these, I realize I've only seen Don't Look Now and Don't Go in the Woods...Alone!; I've thought about picking up Don't Answer the Phone!, but...mehhh. No one's ever given it a ringing endorsement so I always pass it by.
See what I did there? "Ringing" endorsement? For the movie about a PHONE? Get it? Phone? Ring...ing...? Merrrrrr.
I will say that the odd Val Kilmer-Jeff Bridges love child sitting haughtily in drag has intrigued me enough so that I may seek out Don't Go in the House.
For what it's worth, I think my favorite poster here is for Don't Go in the Woods...Alone!- man, it's the mirrored aviator glasses that do it. What's even better is that she's actually in the film- along with hikers on roller skates, hikers in wheelchairs...ahh. I read my review and now I want to watch it again, even though I know it's terrible, terrible.
Nov 19, 2009
one thousand
Dear y'all,
So this is it, my big 1000th post. Though I really have nothing profound to say (shock), I couldn't let the moment pass by without acknowledging it somehow. I marked the occasion of my 500th post with a rather lengthy entry describing Final Girl's humble roots and highlighting a few of my favorite posts. Wow, I just noticed that my 500th hit on November 20, 2007- almost two years ago to the day. That's surely significant of something...? Probably not. Anyway, what's happened in the two years since my last major milestone?
...I think we can all agree that one of the best things that's happened around here has been the introduction of Briefcase Woman, who came along one fine day in May, 2008 to demonstrate the joys that can be had when one votes. Since then, she's spread her enthusiasm all over this blog like...like...well, let's honor her origins and vote for an apt simile, shall we?
Hooray!
...the Final Girl Film Club keeps chugging along, powered by the awesomeness of The Internet. We've covered a whopping 18 films since post 500, and there's no sign of stopping yet. Next up: The Wicker Man on December 14. What movies would you like to nominate for FGFC coverage? Before you answer, take a quick peek at my reviews archive to make sure I haven't already reviewed it.
...I made a movie- a few, really. Ludlow will be ready for mass consumption soon, a thought that's as terrifying as it is metaphorical boner-inducing.
...I've written 85 columns for AMC (holy crapping crap) and I've started contributing to Rue Morgue magazine. Both make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
...this little site just keeps on keepin' on, mostly business as usual. Reviews, stupid pictures, blah blah blah. As you know, I love Final Girl more than Donkey Kong loves throwing barrels at plumbers. While I could write exclusively for myself and be somewhat satisfied (being an only child grants me a +15 to both mana regeneration and my ability to entertain myself) (sorry, I've been playing Dragon Age: Origins) (it's so fucking awesome)...well, it wouldn't be the same without you guys reading it. Again, I say hooray!
Okay, now tell me what's been your favorite post or feature or whatevs here on Final Girl so I feel pretty.
What? I'm allowed to fish for ego-stroking compliments every 500 posts, that's the rule I made up.
Here's to 10,000 more posts! HUZZAH!
So this is it, my big 1000th post. Though I really have nothing profound to say (shock), I couldn't let the moment pass by without acknowledging it somehow. I marked the occasion of my 500th post with a rather lengthy entry describing Final Girl's humble roots and highlighting a few of my favorite posts. Wow, I just noticed that my 500th hit on November 20, 2007- almost two years ago to the day. That's surely significant of something...? Probably not. Anyway, what's happened in the two years since my last major milestone?
Since post #500...
...I think we can all agree that one of the best things that's happened around here has been the introduction of Briefcase Woman, who came along one fine day in May, 2008 to demonstrate the joys that can be had when one votes. Since then, she's spread her enthusiasm all over this blog like...like...well, let's honor her origins and vote for an apt simile, shall we?
Hooray!
...the Final Girl Film Club keeps chugging along, powered by the awesomeness of The Internet. We've covered a whopping 18 films since post 500, and there's no sign of stopping yet. Next up: The Wicker Man on December 14. What movies would you like to nominate for FGFC coverage? Before you answer, take a quick peek at my reviews archive to make sure I haven't already reviewed it.
...I made a movie- a few, really. Ludlow will be ready for mass consumption soon, a thought that's as terrifying as it is metaphorical boner-inducing.
...I've written 85 columns for AMC (holy crapping crap) and I've started contributing to Rue Morgue magazine. Both make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
...this little site just keeps on keepin' on, mostly business as usual. Reviews, stupid pictures, blah blah blah. As you know, I love Final Girl more than Donkey Kong loves throwing barrels at plumbers. While I could write exclusively for myself and be somewhat satisfied (being an only child grants me a +15 to both mana regeneration and my ability to entertain myself) (sorry, I've been playing Dragon Age: Origins) (it's so fucking awesome)...well, it wouldn't be the same without you guys reading it. Again, I say hooray!
Okay, now tell me what's been your favorite post or feature or whatevs here on Final Girl so I feel pretty.What? I'm allowed to fish for ego-stroking compliments every 500 posts, that's the rule I made up.
Here's to 10,000 more posts! HUZZAH!
Nov 18, 2009
it's wednesday!
Another Wednesday, another column at AMC. Friendos, feast your face on The North American Field Guide to Slasher Psychos! It's only small, but remember- Mr. John James Audubon began with but one bird.
Indeed.
Also, if you've visited any other horror site besides mine this week, then surely you know that two new trailers have premiered for genre films starring one- not two, but one- Brittany Murphy.
First up is Deadline, wherein Murphy plays a writer who shacks up in a creepy manse to work on whatever it is she's working on. Creepy stuff starts happening, she finds some DV tapes, she pieces together the mystery of said manse, it all feels vaguely familiar, and the audience wonders what the fuck happened to Thora Birch's career and whether she sees pictures of Scarlett Johanssen and is all "Hey people, I was in Ghost World, too!". Deadline hits December 1, and you can watch the trailer at Shock Till You Drop.
Also, the poster?
I'm not sure what that emotion is. Fear? Ennui? Indigestion? Geez. And if it were me, I wouldn't risk bringing my camera in the tub for fear of dropping it in the water. I'd also be concerned about the giant floating Rosemary's Baby-ish face behind me.
The second trailer that went up this week is for Across the Hall, described as thus:
Also, the poster?
Supermodel with headache- that's some ANTM shit! Still, my Brittany Murphy obsession means I'm compelled to see these (two movies in one week- that's practically an event!). Wouldn't it be nice if they were both fucking awesome?
Indeed.Also, if you've visited any other horror site besides mine this week, then surely you know that two new trailers have premiered for genre films starring one- not two, but one- Brittany Murphy.
First up is Deadline, wherein Murphy plays a writer who shacks up in a creepy manse to work on whatever it is she's working on. Creepy stuff starts happening, she finds some DV tapes, she pieces together the mystery of said manse, it all feels vaguely familiar, and the audience wonders what the fuck happened to Thora Birch's career and whether she sees pictures of Scarlett Johanssen and is all "Hey people, I was in Ghost World, too!". Deadline hits December 1, and you can watch the trailer at Shock Till You Drop.
Also, the poster?
I'm not sure what that emotion is. Fear? Ennui? Indigestion? Geez. And if it were me, I wouldn't risk bringing my camera in the tub for fear of dropping it in the water. I'd also be concerned about the giant floating Rosemary's Baby-ish face behind me.The second trailer that went up this week is for Across the Hall, described as thus:
A quiet night takes a dangerous turn when Julian receives a frantic phone call from his best friend, Terry. Terry claims to have followed his unfaithful fiancée, June, to a seedy hotel on the other side of town. To make matters worse, he’s staked out the room across the hall from her, a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a revolver in the other. Julian pleads with his friend to stay put while he rushes to avert disaster.Murphy is the unfaithful fiancee. Check out the intriguing, lethargic trailer at Apple.com...the site says "in theaters December 4", but that seems...unlikely. Home theaters, maybe?
Also, the poster?
Supermodel with headache- that's some ANTM shit! Still, my Brittany Murphy obsession means I'm compelled to see these (two movies in one week- that's practically an event!). Wouldn't it be nice if they were both fucking awesome?
Nov 17, 2009
slow on the uptake
So, after all our reminiscing about Summer School, I decided to give it a whirl last night, and whirl we did! Whilst watching the exploits of Larry, the student-turned stripper-turned student, I thought to myself, "Hmm. Whatever happened to that Craig Sheffer? He was in this, and April Fool's Day, and Night Breed...surely he's still working."
Well, kids, the joke is on moi. Apparently there exists an actor named Ken Olandt and he's the one in Summer School and April Fool's Day. It's not Craig Sheffer at all! It never was! Everything I know is wrong! Am I losing my mind? This is totally, like, the opposite of that Spice Girls song "2 Become 1".
At any rate, yes, they've both been working steadily since not being the same person in the 80s.
In other news, man...I just don't fucking get Night Breed.
Well, kids, the joke is on moi. Apparently there exists an actor named Ken Olandt and he's the one in Summer School and April Fool's Day. It's not Craig Sheffer at all! It never was! Everything I know is wrong! Am I losing my mind? This is totally, like, the opposite of that Spice Girls song "2 Become 1".
At any rate, yes, they've both been working steadily since not being the same person in the 80s.In other news, man...I just don't fucking get Night Breed.
Nov 16, 2009
The Curious Case of Harry Warden
Over the course of the last day or two, I've spent far more time thinking about Harry Warden of My Bloody Valentine than I probably should have. This may or may not have something to do with my forthcoming AMC column; the fact remains that there's plenty to talk about regarding him outside the confines of said column. Another fact that remains is that there will be plot spoilers for the 1981 film ahead (no talk of the remake here, although I did enjoy it). By now, it should go without saying that, excepting the most current films in theaters, there are almost always spoilers here at your friendly neighborhood FG. Still, I don't want any of you "kids" getting "up" in my "grill" with a "Wait, who has a penis?" or some such. Not that that particular question applies in this case...probably.
Anyway, after all that build up and intro, the bulk of this post may be a disappointment. Maybe there's not plenty to talk about, or much to say...but here goes. Regarding Harry Warden, we know this: he was trapped underground for six weeks following a mine explosion. To survive, he nommed on the bodies of his fallen comrades. When found, Harry was stark raving nutcake and was sent off to a mental hospital to recuperate. A year later, he was out of the hospital. Did he escape, or was he released? Whatever the case, he was still decidedly nutcake- now one of the murderous variety. He killed the two supervisors responsible for the accident in the mine, then...disappeared, warning the town of Valentine Bluffs that should they celebrate the holiday at at any time in the future, he'd be back to make with the kill-kill.
20 years later, the town decides what's past is past and it's time to hold another Valentine's Day dance. When people start dying, it seems that Harry has held true to his promise...eventually, we learn that the killer is really Axel Palmer posing as Harry. When the sheriff calls the sanitarium where Harry had been committed, however, they cannot find any record of him ever staying there...the secretary points out that it could be a clerical error, and she'd have to dig into the microfiche to be sure.
SIDE NOTE: I miss microfiche, particularly in movies. The internet simply isn't as noisy...or as thrilling!
We never get an answer to the question "Where's Harry?" It's a fact that he killed the supervisors a year after he went to the hospital- one of the men was Axel's father, after all, and it was witnessing his dad's murder that made him a murderous nutcake. But...what happened to Harry after that? Legend said he returned to Valentine Bluffs every year to make sure they held no holiday dances; did he live a normal life somewhere else for the other 364 days in the year? Where was he the night the town resumed the festivities? Was he dead? Or, once he had his vengeance on the mine supervisors, did Harry give a big ol' F.U. to the town and split for good, never to think on it again? Wherefore art thou Harry?
That's all. Just wonderin'.
Anyway, after all that build up and intro, the bulk of this post may be a disappointment. Maybe there's not plenty to talk about, or much to say...but here goes. Regarding Harry Warden, we know this: he was trapped underground for six weeks following a mine explosion. To survive, he nommed on the bodies of his fallen comrades. When found, Harry was stark raving nutcake and was sent off to a mental hospital to recuperate. A year later, he was out of the hospital. Did he escape, or was he released? Whatever the case, he was still decidedly nutcake- now one of the murderous variety. He killed the two supervisors responsible for the accident in the mine, then...disappeared, warning the town of Valentine Bluffs that should they celebrate the holiday at at any time in the future, he'd be back to make with the kill-kill.
20 years later, the town decides what's past is past and it's time to hold another Valentine's Day dance. When people start dying, it seems that Harry has held true to his promise...eventually, we learn that the killer is really Axel Palmer posing as Harry. When the sheriff calls the sanitarium where Harry had been committed, however, they cannot find any record of him ever staying there...the secretary points out that it could be a clerical error, and she'd have to dig into the microfiche to be sure.
SIDE NOTE: I miss microfiche, particularly in movies. The internet simply isn't as noisy...or as thrilling!
We never get an answer to the question "Where's Harry?" It's a fact that he killed the supervisors a year after he went to the hospital- one of the men was Axel's father, after all, and it was witnessing his dad's murder that made him a murderous nutcake. But...what happened to Harry after that? Legend said he returned to Valentine Bluffs every year to make sure they held no holiday dances; did he live a normal life somewhere else for the other 364 days in the year? Where was he the night the town resumed the festivities? Was he dead? Or, once he had his vengeance on the mine supervisors, did Harry give a big ol' F.U. to the town and split for good, never to think on it again? Wherefore art thou Harry?That's all. Just wonderin'.
Nov 15, 2009
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